-Honesty is the best policy-

To tell you the truth, I don’t really fancy this blog skin. It’s too… blue if u know what I mean.

But the other one was screwed and it totally does NOT help that I know nuts about html.

Yes yes, I am leaving this thursday. And contrary to what others might think, I am not super-duper excited about it, and I am not really looking forward to it.

With the exception of being able to look at stars every night and being able to horse-ride for the 1st time in my life, I really do not know what to expect.

Is it all a stage we, teens all go through or is it just me? I hope it’s a stage. I really do becuase personally, I love travelling. I love sitting on airplanes.

Just this time, I’m not really feeling in the groove. I’m not jumping up and down, and not in a hurry to pack. I really don’t know why. And I really want to go. haha. I am weird.

I’m now working on accepting Jesus into my life as a friend. A best friend.

I’ve always had an issue about it. I feel that friendship is a highly mutual thing. not that Jesus doesnt want to be my friend. It’s just, I’ve always had a view of my Saviour Almighty that He doesnt need me. He chose me for His pleasure and drew me close because of His love which is beyond human understanding. aka, my understanding. Put all that aside, He still doesnt need me.

For me, when I am close to this person – this person is my bestfriend, I am dependant on that person. And I assume that person is dependant on me.

Until today, I never felt that God actually needed me.

Until today, He was never my friend. A Brother :P, a Father, but not yet a friend.

Until today

Show me Your way.

-disintigration of my brain-

humiliation

I wonder how I can be so #^!$ stupid.

what was going thru my mind?! oh well, I just have to take comfort that God isnt frowning upon me. There must be a reason I made that crucial mistake.

But I still feel lik a dumbass…….

#^!$#^&

I am beyond hope

-In your eyes I see…-

I took a gazillion tests but somehow or another the html is *(@!^%^ so I cant be bothered.

Yesterday. Eventful. =]

Lynn’ house was.. okayyy lah. Was fun actually. Odessey of the mind was great haha. I am Neferteri [if that’s how u spell that] and Joan is my Rameses the Great! LOL.. And Lynn is my irritating mother. She is sorta already lah. Bridge Bridge and more bridge. At the end of it all, I will miss her.

Caroling. The last one I can go for. quite fun, but we had to sing incredibly loudly.. Yiying abandoned me AGAIN. Hiyah!

Best thing about yesterday was that I persuaded mummy to let me go for the acsi spar today. not only one debate but both!! <3<3<3

The first debate was screwed lah. Duh.. I’ve only done free trade like once? twice? and I think the ‘saviour’ part was &)%*@#^# sigh. I now know how lacking I am at head knowledge. We were bombarded with accusations of NO EXAMPLES ASSUMPTIONS, how true how true..

Even though we were debating against sec2s, I think our performace was still unforgivable. my speech was 4 mins?! Shortest ever to date I tink.

The second debate was… hmm.. okay lahh.. My starting was quite terrible. all the seniors were like @@ *bang table* *cover face*

Ladies and gentlemen, all of us here are going through puberty. you might say that teenagers are going through puberty, a turbulent stage in their lives but we are not sex-crazed animals are we?? No we are not, we are still able to make rational decisions. Furthermore…
*went on to talk about sex education, exposure… blahhh*

On the whole, what I observed was like, the pro pro seasoned senior debaters were like sitting in one corner. Half the time they were conversing among themselves. When they are watching the debate, their mouths are like hanging open and staring with scepticism at us. I was like staring too haha..

are we that bad?

I dont think I want to know the answer. Oh well.

I received news about the PSLE results frm my friends. The results were released yesterday most of you must be aware. haha, all of them are boys. heez. My cousin, Darren [at his house now], Lennard and Julian. [5, counting Ivan]

Dunno abt Lennard and Ivan yet. Actually I know Lenn’s score, to a certain extent. he made express thank goodness. Most worried abt him.. Julian… sighsigh. Not so bad lahhhh… My cousin?? -.- i expected him to do MUCH better considering he appeared on tv. But at least he did better than me.. Darren? – shant say lah, he did okay. He did well for science though, exceptionally well.

We went for dinner at some vegetarian restaurant juz now. Man, We had like sharksfin, sweet and sour ribs and pork, assorted meats [char siew, duck and ‘goose’], cereal prawns, and other stuffs. All fake can u believe it?? So kewl! and the sweet and sour ribs were so realistic! wow..

Kenneth: you’ve never eaten at a vegetarian restaurant before o.0
Me: *nod nod* hehe ya..
KenKen: tsk tsk * shakes head*

Uncle Fong even tried to trick me that the peanuts were fake too. I fell for it $%!$^# haha..

I realised sometime today that I am hopelessly attracted and have an incredibly soft spot for adorable… people. mainly guys and babies. toddlers. Wateva

haha.. sounds wrong..

Take all of me – Hillsongs

You broke the night like the sun
and healed my heart with Your great love
any trouble couldn’t bear
You lifted me upon Your shoulders

Love that’s stronger
Love that covers sin
and takes the weight of the world

i love You
all of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life
take all of me

You stand upon mountain tops with me
with You i walk through the valleys
Your grace is all i rely on

i love You so, and i give up my heart to say
i need You so, my everything

-Little miracles-

I really don’t know what to do with myself, or my life now.

Seriously.

Everything was fine, I accepted it, and you happened.

The spar today was okay. As good as it could get. My case was screwed and my rebuttals were lame. Omgdness. Haha, boosting tourism. That was ludicrous. Ridiculous. wateva

The opp said that cultural assimilation would result in the lost of diversity, why do ppl go to other countries? To appreciate their diverse culture. You know what I said? I said, one country can have one culture. You want to appreciate other cultures? Go to other countries. It also boosts tourism ladies and gentlemen, thus there will be societal unity and stability. Which is good!

Jon started laughing.

We are supposed to have a spar with the ac sec1s and sec2s this friday. But my mum says no, for a reason she temporarily cant remember. Here goes a chance to gain… “exposure”. -.-

Our meal at pasta mania was so laughable. [yes there is such a word]
I started filling up a feedback form for an imaginary Mrs Pasta who makes pasta at pasta house [Pasta house is danne’s idea]. haha.. so funny… YK said that it would be more fun to fill it up for real people. Sabo.

I not so evil yet, maybe I’ll remember the next time I go to pasta mania. =]]

LYNN IS BACK!!! but we can only see her like tomorrow. dfhthjd

I’ve missed her loads. Oh well.

I don’t need a reason to be angry with God

-unseen-

How great is our God – Chris Tomlin

The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

5 Random facts [weird? u decide]

1. I am terrified of the lift closing on me.
I usually flinch when I walk pass lift doors, and if no one is holding the lift, or if the door has been open for quite some time, I will usually freeze outside the lift. Then my mum will laugh and beckon me to come in, and I will run like one pursued by death. I think the nicest thing u can do for me in situations like these, is to hold the door for me, or if ure behind me, walk in with me. I think I will give u a hug after =]

2. When I’m upset, I usually dont eat, and sit down hunched, with my hand or hands clutching my tummy. There are also times, I start talking non stop. Ranting and crapping on and on – and please, if u notice that, try and tolerate me and let me rant till I am blue in the face. I promise you that when I’m done, I will shuddap and keep very quiet.

3. I still wear pyjamas when I go to bed.
yes yes, you know those all-blue, all-pink or all-yellow printed pjs? yeah. I have those. I also have “nightgowns”, printed ones. My favourite is the one with this big pig on it heez. =] I also have this light blue hello kitty one.

4. Words mean alot to me, so if u want to hurt my feelings, u can scream vulgarities at me, criticize or post something sensitive on my tag board, or send me hurtful emails. results guranteed. 🙂

5. I tend to dwell in the past too much.

Okay it’s done danne, hope it is to ur satisfaction. I hereby pass this on to – Yiying and jeanette =D

just two. this is how limited my social circle is.wahaha. Oh how pathatic.

I am now at my mother’s office, about tp proceed to working on my case for this wed. We are – by instruction, to prep the VJ motion to spar with the seniors and I am 2nd again. ohwow..

THBT cultural assimilation for ethnic minorities is necessary.

laadeedaa..

Oh yes and my mum’s having a meeting. mhmm.

I had the most traumatic experiance last night. okay not traumatic.. It’s beyond description. and I shall not elaborate, lest I be accused of… -.-

and of course do not ask.

go away

-Yawn-

Well well well. The VJ debate motion was released yesterday, and I hope we wont have to prep an impromptu spar tomorrow. I will just die.

Yesterday was… an experiance. My sister celebrated her birthday a month early, more or less anyway. and boy did we have a good time!

-.-“

yeahhh rightt..

rough start cuz I had cramps and wasnt in the best of all moods. Irritable, but thank goodness not the @$#^%$^ GET OFF MY BACK!! kind of mood.

She wanted to bowl and catch a movie. But due to time constraints, we could do neither. with her friends anyway. We went to munch at pasta mania instead for starters and it was so crowded. it didnt help that there was that xiao yuan ou xiang yest at junction 8 and there was this loooong queue of students in their uniform haha.. I was keeping a lookout for scgs and ha! – didnt see any.

then NEOPRINTS! I still remember my first neoprints. I think it was when I was… 7? 8? with my sis and my mum. my first with friends was this year lol. with yiying? yeah yiying, and it was so SCREWED.

That machine was new to me, and it absolutely does not help I do not read a single word of japanese. hmm. but it was a nice machine, alot of time, but a totally artificial backgrnd scheme which I dont quite like. my fav neoprint is still the one with jeanette. ^^ I helped the little ones and freaked out and sorta screwed it up for them. thankfully by the grace of God, it didnt screw up. not totally.

Then they went to do the paint on the metal plate thingy. It’s some art thingy for young young kids like aged 2? U paint on a metal plate and wen ure ready they put it in an oven to heat it and dry it and then u bring home and stick it on ur fridge. It’s fun, I wanted to do it, but I didnt feel well. Not well enough to concentrate at least. I went instead, for a haircut. I got the lady to chop it short and layer it. okay not short short, slightly below my shoulder. a lil’ messy and puffy, but I’m more or less satisfied. honestly I couldnt care less how I look lah, juz wanted a change, am dead sick of the ordinary long thick dry hairdo.

I just stoned while the woman cut my hair. Mum cut her hair too. =]

Then after dinner, we [just me rebe and mum] went to watch Just like Heaven. Was great. Touching, but I didnt cry. Cant seem to cry anymore these days. it was just that, i NEARLY teared. oh well.

oh yes, I am going caroling this year!!! woot!! finally. I enjoyed caroling 2 yrs ago so much. for sorta the wrong reasons. =D Yiying wasnt there btw haha, i was the lone ranger. fun though, nonetheless.

this year ha! with yiying or no, i have company lol. no offense darling. =]

Dawn’s doing it and thurs’s practice was so fun haha. and funny. the guys were. AHEM. hahahahaha.
the grp was small, accroding to them, abt less than one quarter of what they usually had cuz of the o’s and a’s. I need awhile to get the carols cuz I couldnt seem to get the ups and downs of the tune.

practice makes perfect.

we’re performing at white sands and century sq cant remember when. so exciting! when I was 11, the caroling was restricted to outside whitesands and at the congregation’s home. remember we went to Nic’s house. HAHA, he wasnt home and I didnt noe I was there. So when me and another Rachel wanted to go to the washroom, I did smth I regretted – I let her go first. haha. MISTAKE.

I looked around the kitchen I discovered a miniature Nic on the fridge and I started jumping. haha. couldnt help it. haha. and yiying wasnt there to scream at me to calm down. I tink I spent 10 minutes in the toilet, 5 looking at myself in the mirror trying to make myself less red. haha.. this year, I hope its less… comical. I shant go into other comic details. just take it that I had this HUGE crush on this guy haha..

and he kept looking at me. lol.

I can’t deny what I believe
I can’t be what I’m not
(I know, I know)
I know this love’s forever
That’s all that matters now

-Irreplaceable-

Cannot be replaced

Priceless. Rare. Unique.

It is just human nature that the people who mean the most to us are also the ones we take most for granted. We are all humans.

It really set me thinking last night and I gathered all my thoughts that were helter-skelter and thought of those people who were really special in my life. I made quite a long mental list.

Well, actually the thought didnt pop out of nowhere. I went to visit my grand dad after BSF and had a good look at him. His condition has improved trememdously, but it seems like haggardness has become a part of him. I turned away.

I dont know why but I feel a need to mention some people who are really really irreplaceable in my life.

Mum- I think you are the person who loves me the most on this earth. One of God’s most precious gifts to me. That’s just it I cant live without you.

Dad- I think I can travel far and wide, but never meet another man who can nag with as much enthusiasm u. 😀 Yet I love u, despite rarely saying so. ❤

Becks- I need to love u more

Kor- Only you can play sounds that touch my heart, that can make me forget my surroundings and get lost in the music itself. Although I’ve more or less yet to know you, I already love you.

Godma- Maybe the reason I get so frustrated and mad is because I see myself in you. What I was and what I will one way or another become. Loving the way you love me.

Lynn- I will always need you, so much so I cant describe it.

Yiying- My teacher, my friend.

Jeremy- I wont pretend

Nic- what is happy’s surname? Lee:) I cant travel to the ends of the earth and never find another who amuses me as much and who warms my heart like you do.

Sa- You’re always there when I need you, God has blessed me.

Jeanette- My lil’ angel

Danne- You know I love you. i love you, you love me… =]

Joani- Dont ever lose your innocence(:

Aleena- I love you although I dont think I know you anymore

Anna- You thought me the differance between loving someone and liking the person


Many other people have left deep footprints in my heart, but to list them all down would really take a long while. =]

sorry danne, I will do the 5 weird things abt me another time k?

Just a reply to our wonderful Joan’s tag:

Joan’s okay, but.. I cringe at the thought of how many daughter will turn out. hmmm…

I think danne, lynn and many other ppl will agree that one Joan is enough!!
John is overused and Jon/Jonathan is my debate trainer’s name. Jones?

Me and Mrs Jones… We got a thinnngggg…. Going onnnnn…

Gag gag coughcoughcough

😀

You raise me up
So I can stand on mountains

-As eventful as I hoped-

Eventful enough. 🙂

Take friday for starters, I played pool for the first time! Or rather exasperated Joan and provided entertainment for the two other girls. Mostly I missed the ball, or if I hit, it moved like a centermetre? barely but close enough =]

A memorable shot was when I hit the red into the hole and in the midst of the cheering, the white bounced and too went into the hole.

LOL

But I will improve. That is if my dad who is quite a seasoned player has enough patience to teach his noob of a daughter.

Saturday was Nini day. Last day of tuition and the swim couldnt beat an hour with that doggie. A puppy no longer ladies and gentlemen! She is now a woman! haha. Anqi jiejie was so proud.

Oh yeah and luyang chose hci over ri.

that’s that.

hmmm. I totally forgot that this is pat’s o’level year. i cant believe it.

Rach:huh?! still have exams?? 0.0
pat: yeah o’levels. [went back to geog book]
rach: i tot nxt year?? o.0
pat: -.- [ had that im-15?-how-come-i-dunno look.]
rach: *mental calculations* OHOHOH!! ure 3 years older than me!!
pat: -_-“
rach: ahehehehe =D
pat: hehe? [ had that omgdness-i-dun-tink-ure-my-cousin-if-u-are-i-disown-u look]
rach: sry sry =D

#$^)(@%$

I read a book today that made my arms ache for a baby haha..

sounds wrong doesnt it? Sorry.

One thing the book said right was that if women could actually remember the sensations of labour and delivery, we’d sleep alone and wear chastity belts for the rest of our natural lives. haha..

Bill Cosby is a genius, the author quoted him suggesting men imagine what a woman goes through in child birth : Take your lower lip… and pull it over your head.

Go read girls [and guys]: Love someone today by Delilah. It’s a delightful christian book that encourages and inspires. I’m only at A time to die. It’s so touching.

Do i want children? I read the book and the author has ahem 5 children. And she describes each one with such love and pride that she makes me desire the same joy for meself. sigh. dunno, it’s like I understand why my mum cant stand watching me rush to grow up, cheonging into teenage-hood. I think it breaks her heart. I now understnad the phrase : U’ll always be my baby, no matter how old u are.

Will I get to hold a tiny miracle?

-My treasury-

Did I mention that I was going away to NZ for about 2 weeks in the beginning of Dec? So exciting, reading and looking at pictures of the places we’re going to visit.

There’s a *gasp* star conservatory.

!!

Woot! omgdness!! there’s also this track thingy at Lake Tekapo, if u take the overnight trek, u get to sleep under the stars!! The best thing about going in summer is that while we drive in between towns, away and the hustle and bustle of the city, we might see flowers when we drive past the seemingly endless expanse of grassland.

daisies?? If I pray hard enough and if I wear my glasses.

I dont think we can afford a ride in an hot air balloon although I would love to – despite of the early hours. Daddy would probably be half-dead [of half-alive put it whichever way you want] and my mum and sis are afraid of heights.

A ride in a hot air balloon is supposed to be one of the most romantic experiances one can have [besides being under stars (:], but how romantic can it be when u are crammed with 80 over persons in a basket goodness knows how many feet off the ground? I told my mum that and she said what she always says when I complain about such stuff.

‘Get a rich husband’

one who can afford to book the whole hot air balloon for me. Pray hard Rachel and Rachel’s mum.

But I dont think I want a husband who spends his fortune no matter how extensive it is on meaningless… stuff like that. he could book like half the hot air balloon? at least there would be a better circulation of air. =P

Ok I’m talking crap. I just hope we can like go to the star place and ahemahem swim with dolphins at Kaikoura. =]

This trip is going to be a pricey one and once again I am feeling so privilledged having what I have now. Things I mostly take for granted. I tend to dwell too long on the things I dont have or have lost someway or another and not take time to just sit down and offer praises and prayers thanksgiving to God for what I am blessed with.

Humans are always going to be human right?

Duh.

I have a treasury of blessings, most or all of it I do not deserve. I received an email from my mother of pictures of the starving children in Africa. There was one drinking an elephant’s pee. I was aghast and sickened and… I felt..

So thankful of what I do have. there was this child crawling to a UN camp of some sorts which give aid, he was literally a bag of bones and the camp was 1 km away. It was a pulitzer prize winning photograph and there was also a vulture in it, waiting for the child to die before feeding on it. It was painfully revolting.

Such things are very real in the world today but most of us just push it to the back of our minds, not wanting to bother ourselves with such happenings, not wanting our lives to be thrown of balance. How many of us actually care?

It is people, children like these who need God, really truly. It’s people like these who have nothing, their emptiness waiting to be filled, filled with God’s love. How many are suffering alone, waiting for people to bring the good news to them? I now understand what drove Mother Theresa to do what she did.

I guess it’s places such as these that really need missionaries, need aid, need the gospel, need Christ. I really dont know what else to say.

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

-I can only imagine-

Finally made my post title visible although it’s not really centralised. argh.. 😀

Well, today was… as good as it could get. Cat high came for a spar, and I was totally unprepared. I though we were having that media freedom speech? danne and I were like shocked wen we took our seats as we thought we were going to be the only sec1s.

hahaHAHA misconception. Sarah arrived.

Then the cat high guys [sec1s most likely] came and filled the whole back row. I couldnt help but laugh. =]

It was some big government debate. found it… okay. well, I shld watch more debates and learn how to look when I should and to not look when I shouldnt. I am a visual so I tend to [dont groan danne] look at other ppl’s lips moving wen they speak or observe their hand gestures etc. so i couldnt get what that guy was going on about [i didnt even catch his signposting of his point of substantive. wen Jon told us I was like enlightened] and it didnt help that I was concentrating on him saying stuff, not what he was trying to put forth.

I think Yuankheng makes a good 3rd although I found something abt cat high’s 3rd very distracting.

very.

😀 ahehehe

Well, tomorrow’s the om meeting, the first in the holidays. Omgdness, I miss Lynn. I had this like ‘vision’ today, that God would somehow in His awesomeness [if there is such a word] allow 2 miracles to happen in Lynn’s life. like she getting a boyfriend :)) that’s a Christian!! =]]]]

Actually the 2nd’s more important, but I think it would be fun, you know, we talking abt HER guy troubles for a change =]

Oh yes, I was very touched, yet very very disgusted with last night’s wangzi bian qing wa. terrible man.. -.-“

touched by ziqian and tianyu abt him knowing all the reasons of the past blah blah. dISGUSTED at SHAN JUN HAO. He’s such a %&^$^& character!! so.. fickle, of all he put the poor girl thru[ and is putting his fiancee thru], he expects tianyu to take him back?!

idiotidiot

but I still like the show, because I find it very corny and the sound effects hilarious. oh yes, minghan [ the bad guy] ‘s cute =D Lynn thinks so too!!! =]]

but his makeup is too heavy.

enough of teenage rambles.

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry