judgement and the iron fist

post exams were supposed to be filled with bright shafts of warm sunlight

daisies that never wilt

and friendships that never end

democracy

utopia

you know the likes

oh yeah. and no disease? no famine, no war, no strife.

imran says i’m cheesy.

but i think i try to express with my cheese, everything that’s bottled up inside. feelings like wrrguuughhhhhh, or marrrgggghhhhccccsssssss.

nevermind.

i don’t know why i have such morbidly high expectations of others and myself. i don’t know why i can forgive some people without so much as a thought, and never let go of the little mistakes of others i can’t even remember them committing.! I don’t know why i can’t live up to what i preach. I don’t know why I melt when i see babies smile and toddlers laugh that magical laugh, why I love going to the tree house or drinking ice lemon tea. I don’t know why so many things.

now what would i say if i were somebody else?

meta

meta

meta

you don’t have to know everything

yeah i know

don’t let it bother you, you are made of much stronger stuff. answers will come in time. He’s bigger than all your problems

yeah i know.

what i still don’t know is why i can’t seem to forgive you.

i’m putting up a front with you can you believe it?

i love you.

but i don’t have to like you right now.

damn, do i love you?