Friday: Girls Day OUT!

Muahaha. After doing IMAG, Joann and I left the polar bear on the train and went to bugis to meet sheila and XY. Van turned up later =)

Samuel and Kevin =)

Drool people. Dinner at the Heeren with my mum. SINFUL. =P

SATURDAY! iHOPE!
=) they had some 3 buck ice creams on sale. Expensive, but good. Chocolate with BANANA =)

Nic and my icecream XD

It was time well spent. Most of it anyway. I had some issues with worship, the way it was done, but then i’m missed the point too. I have personal issues with my worship ah well.

Sy Rogers, one of the most engaging speakers i have encountered so far. and all the sex. haha. too much of it, but he tackled many pertinent issues and shared his testimony.

I learnt that in this world, we all are hungry for love. And some people’d rather get bad love than none at all, you know, hence all the trouble. ah well.

I loved the second workshop: shine for Christ.

it was so relevent. i shall go revisit my notes later. =)

SUNDAY
anniversary service. =)

I was very touched yesterday when my grandparents and my aunts were so thoughtful about my trip. i didnt think it would mean much to them, until they gave me money, well wishes, told me to be safe. That’s when i started getting quite emo.

i’m learning how to love you better.

“half my mind is me going to miss you”

the last time i went to new zealand, i made a will. hahahaha. but i shant torment myself about the prospect of me dying hahaha. Although i want to look pretty in my coffin. Nice white dress in a bed of white daisies ( the real ones) and my pillow with me.

=D

woaini ❤

romeo:
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!

Oh i’m a hopeless sucker for romance. ahahaa.

i shall go watch mansfield park

and hear edmund say: ‘There are as many forms of love, as there are moments in time’

i shall go watch pride and prejudice (the one with the cute sheepdog Darcy who is not colin firth haha) and hear him say: ‘surely you know, it was all for you’.

ah. romance.

yo humans.

i’m supposed to be packing my room, but i havent started

and i’m listening to a playlist of 44 songs

i had maggie mee for breakfast {curry flavour i’m killing myself >< }

i’m missing my green pillow

there’s no aircon. should i switch on? (:

and i don’t want you to leave me. but that’s out of my hands now.

i’m not going to know you anymore. argh.

jealousy.

like me

like junk

black and charred

totally unlike the

strawberry dreams

I have

but what’s this to compare

its junk

he falls down and mutilates himself.

really?

no, not really.

like blood

saline stench

by salted fish

laid dry on the bench

we lay

stained permanent the memories of us

entwined

I’ll kill him tonight.

really?

no, not really.

like masquerade

colour and song

totally turned on

by something other than me

white gloved

hands tempt and tease

insistent

I’ll blind him so he can’t see.

really?

no, not really.

like me

dark dictate desperate

a scene off a horror

film, pandora’s evil, free

sticky like

mud murky mud

say hi to me

I’ll take him tonight

he can’t see

no he’s mine tonight

he can’t breathe

please

he can’t take

it

I’ll swallow his desires

till he’s

empty.

like me.

3 words:

sleep
obsessive
headache

3 problems:

lack of sleep
prospect your demise
my obsession with keeping close what does not belong to me

3 goals:

sleep before 12
finish math well
finish IM well

3 things i hope won’t happen before then:

i die
i lose all my friends
i fall sick

rachel you’re a retard! whoo~

nat has a beautiful instrumental collection, especially her christian instrumentals.

i was sprawled on the couch, listening to her music, loudly to drown out the drones of the piano near by. i’m going deaf at the rate i’m going. ahahaha. but who cares. everyone’s going deaf.

but you can hear the words on my mouth before i speak
but you can hear and track the flow of my emotions
you can hear what i can’t hear

and that makes all the difference in the world.

see, this is why i’m never going to be ready for any form of relational bgr commitment anytime soon.

simply because the one (the ONE) will not be coming anytime soon.

i can feel it.

everything else before that will just be me playing mindless games – which is really cruel i know, but i can’t really help it.

but i don’t ever mean to hurt you. i’m sorry if i have.

she sits by the stream
spring jumps twirls and dances
the leaves the gentle breeze

ah. haiku. (:

no thankyou, no heartstrings.

oh gosh what a horrible horrible feeling.

the things you don’t understand.

the things i don’t understand is, my heart. and the stupid stupid things i do.

that don’t tally. with what? with how i feel, how i know what i should be doing, you know all the things that keep you rational.

what’s annoying is that i can never decipher my own language. i react in stupid ways. God, i’m so lost.

lostlostlostlost. this is a messmessmessmess.

its all your fault
its all my fault

tomorrow i’ll feel fine.

perhaps.

beneath the soft
pink
ballet
shoes

and your gentle
demeanor
and
the

way your hand
smooths
invisible
materials

behind the facade
of
powdered
cheeks

behind the curtain
of
long
eyelashes

i see the
blistered toes
shattered knees
insecurity.

my mum just left for japan so i’m feeling lonely now.

talk about dependancy.

someone just broke my baby’s heart so my outlook upon like is rather distorted now.

talk about i told you so, but i’ll never let you go.

i think i have loads of work to complete so i’m worried now

talk about stupidhead start on your work now, but no… i’m blogging.

if loving you with all my heart’s a crime
i’m guilty.