-the skies are clear-

the skies are clear,
my heart isnt.

I agree that I might be too open and transparent on my blog. Mushy if you will. =D

I read other people’s blogs (those that are similar to mine) and i feel quite repulsed? (what’s the word…). I guess some of you might be feeling that way too.

but i enjoy quoting songs, and quoting my own thoughts. but i’m just tired of being honest.

i’m tired of telling people so much about me.

believe me, i can go on about my life – either because I have nothing better to say, the other person has nothing better to say, or i just feel chatty.

i hate it.

do you know why?

because you feel terribly empty when there’s nobody to tell.

nobody who cares, nobody who can listen and relate, listen and understand, listen and bother to remember, nobody who can listen and love. nobody.

maybe its just that all the nobodies are not the somebodies I want.

and i’m losing all those somebodies.

i shall not attempt to count.

the skies are clear,
my heart isn’t.

-Sexed up-

i realise that i haven’t been making much sense lately.

And i don’t have much to say anyway.

Its only the first paper and I’m drained. I slept for an hour an a half, and it took me 15mins to get out of bed. i was thinking.. ughhhh. I recall dreaming about science. I woke up thinking and panicking that there were more science papers coming up.

Then i realised that i completed my science! then i started panicking about geog and history.

then i started thinking about the Merchant of Venice.

Minyi helped bring me back to earth when she called me to talk about MOV and it registered that i have a LIT TEST TOMORROW. its the most horrid combination actually. Chinese compo with LIT. can you believe it?!

anxiety attack.

and i hate Gratiano. I can’t think why Nerissa would have fallen for that pompous toot head who is blunt, rude, insensitive and dirty minded. MCP…

grr.

sorry.

hahaaha 😀

ltes pertnde ew nerev mte.

-S IDOL-

i really am supposed to be doing Merchant of Venice now, but heyy.. its Singapore idol. No? (:

i shant bother myself with TRYING to post flattering pictures of the idols, because blogger is CRANKING UP.

BUTBUTBUTBUTBUT!!

HAAADDDYY HASSS WONNN.

‘Give it up for Hady!! Your new Singapore Idol!’

I do have to point out to you however that

ken said to Jonathan> ‘ your journey has just begun‘.

and he was very brave.

oh well.

who’s in for the concert in OCTOBER? =)))))!?

I WANNA GOOO. MY MUM SMILED WHEN I ASKED
(in approval i hope) [:

-Listen-

Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol
Breathing- Lifehouse
Far Away – Nickelback
I wanna be with you- Mandy Moore
What the world needs now is love- Wynonna
Straightjacket feeling- All American Rejects
Move Along- All American Rejects
Amazed- Lonestar
I’m with you- Avril Lavigne
Augustana- Boston
Champagne Supernova- Oasis
Sexed up- Robbie Williams

your hands are mind to hold.

-Isaiah 46-

Isaiah 46

Gods of Babylon

1 Bel bows down, Nebo stoops low;
their idols are borne by beasts of burden.
The images that are carried about are burdensome,
a burden for the weary.

2 They stoop and bow down together;
unable to rescue the burden,
they themselves go off into captivity.

3 “Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
all you who remain of the house of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,
and have carried since your birth.

4 Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

5 “To whom will you compare me or count me equal?
To whom will you liken me that we may be compared?

6 Some pour out gold from their bags
and weigh out silver on the scales;
they hire a goldsmith to make it into a god,
and they bow down and worship it.

7 They lift it to their shoulders and carry it;
they set it up in its place, and there it stands.
From that spot it cannot move.
Though one cries out to it, it does not answer;
it cannot save him from his troubles.

8 “Remember this, fix it in mind,
take it to heart, you rebels.

9 Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.

10 I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say: My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please.

11 From the east I summon a bird of prey;
from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose.
What I have said, that will I bring about;
what I have planned, that will I do.

12 Listen to me, you stubborn-hearted,
you who are far from righteousness.

13 I am bringing my righteousness near,
it is not far away;
and my salvation will not be delayed.
I will grant salvation to Zion,
my splendor to Israel.

-Echos of Before-

Baby you surround me.

-Reflected light-

a light reflected on wood.

wood-
warm and alive.

‘so do you both talk like this?‘

-a friend, rephrased.

i cannot believe you said that! i cant. honestly i cant. how could you say that!?
a prize to the one who can guess my response.

but prayer has worked wonders in my heart.

but i guess, i don’t understand anymore.

i like this song. (:

-Shh.-

Don’t judge. Just listen.

-Just Listen, Sarah Dessen

This piece is fantastic. Its classical, and it makes me dreeeaaammm. Honestly it does. Probably only because I watched Peter Pan and loved it. (:

-its painfully endearing.-

unquestionable affection. it’s hurting now.

love was supposed to be a good thing.

laughter is supposed to be more than merely a sound that escapes the lips, or the upturning of the mouth. Laughter should be in the eyes. A light that brings forth a stunning clarity that is almost beautiful, if beautiful is the word for it.

davinia brought up the different kinds of love today, and once again, i’m forced to examine the purity of my mind. which is- nowhere near pure.

i guess i don’t want to talk about it.

robbie williams – eternity.

Close your eyes so you dont feel them,
They dont need to see you cry
I cant promise I will heal you,
But if you want to I will try.

I sing the summer serenade
The past is done, we’ve been betrayed, its true.
Someone said the truth will out
I believe without a doubt, in you

You were there for summer dreamin’,
And you gave me what I need.
And I hope you’ll find your freedom,
For eternity, for eternity.

Yesterday when you were walking,
You talked about your Mom and Dad.
What they did had made you happy,
What they didnt made you sad.

We sat and watched the sun go down,
Picked a star before we lost the moon.
Youth is wasted on the young,
Before you know its come and gone too soon.

You were there for summer dreaming,
And you gave me what I need.
And I hope you’ll find your freedom,
For eternity, for eternity.

I sing the summer serenade,
The past is done, we’ve been betrayed, its true.
Youth is wasted on the young,
Before you know its come and gone, too soon.

You were there for summer dreamin’,
And you are a friend indeed.
And I hope you’ll find your freedom,
For eternity.

You were there for summer dreamin’,
And you are a friend indeed.
And I know you’ll find your freedom,
Eventually, for eternity, for eternity.

i believe without a doubt, in you.

-inertia.-

you chose CY – your Enneagram type is SIX.

“I am affectionate and skeptical”

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be direct and clear.
• Listen to me carefully.
• Don’t judge me for my anxiety.
• Work things through with me.
• Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
• Laugh and make jokes with me.
• Gently push me toward new experiences.
• Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Six

• being committed and faithful to family and friends
• being responsible and hardworking
• being compassionate toward others
• having intellect and wit
• being a nonconformist
• confronting danger bravely
• being direct and assertive

What’s Hard About Being a Six

• the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• being too critical of myself when I haven’t lived up to my expectations

Sixes as Children Often

• are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
• are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• form a team of “us against them” with a best friend or parent
• look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Sixes as Parents

• are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

how interesting (:

interesting is one thing. Disturbing is another.

I have this need to let others define me, i can’t seem to get myself right.

i was sooo high in church today! i couldnt seem to shut up! and that’s rare! well, maybe its because i shut up most of the time in school, so i talked it all out today. our conversations in small group
today were quite hilarious. We got a pen and i decided that we should pronounce it lucky- for charlotte. oh well. i was pleased because she appeared reasonably happy.

i shall not talk about the debate party until i receive my pictures, which probably take 100000 years. all i shall say is that we bought JON and CONDOM.hahahahahahah!!!

Danne, Aletheia and I went to Westmall for some last minute shopping, and we went into guardian (i think) and tried to be discreet while we examined the different.. err.. types. hahah! We bought a really disgusting thing which was shaped like a seashellformaximumpleasure. sounds so 3$@# wrong. butbutbutbut!!! it fit with our theme which was ‘pirates’ and it was cheapreasonable.

since ale and i were wearing sc shirts, it left danne to go buy the thing. hahah!! 😀

but it was funn lah. its not everyday 14, 15 year olds go buy condoms for their debate coaches. but it was also extremely disconcerting and UNCOMFORTABLE. =X

Jon was… ermm. agog. haha. aghast. haha. and he was laughing at the same time hahahah! ‘you girls are damn wrong leh!‘

we actually wanted to buy more so we could label every single one of them (with guess what? =]) but we couldnt. haha.

heeheehee. =)

ANYWAY. oh yes. another thing. at the coffeeshop today, I saw uncle fong. THEN he invited us to sit with them THEN after 5 months i saw Darren. taller, tanner and different. and when he spoke i was like 0.0!

i miss the old darren. haiya. but what can i say. puberty.

i am talking rubbish. its inertia.

focus.