Down;;

“A fond kiss, and then we sever;
A farewell, and then forever!”

Robert Burns
A Fond Kiss

Look at the man over there. One wonders about what may be going through his mind.

Prince and Frog

RAHH. I know this is an old show (about 1 year old), but I FINALLY got it from Aunty Eleanor. RAHH! (:

The story’s really complicated. but its really nice. really really really really 😀

YES. finally something to occupy my time. i am a couch potato! WAHAHA. ><

Can you see who I’m looking at?? Watch the show, you’ll understand. It’s available on youtube!! (: There’s the part when Tianyu was in the hospital, and when Tianyu and Dang O(or Ou or ..watever..) were playing the piano. 😀 But i couldnt find screen shots.

I’m high. (:

But honestly, like every other good drama serial that I can relate to, this one makes me feel really uncomfortable sometimes.

I’m really weird.

And! Can anyone guess where I’m headed to tomorrow?

Being Subjective

i’m nice to you all the time. ( i hope)
but maybe your being nice was subjective from the beginning.

That’s disturbing, but sweet.

i cannot.

i was exhausted after camp today. it is after all the last day – but it was the worse, in terms of strain. Seriously.

And I am here again, finished The Two Towers. Aragorn is so un-droolable. In terms of eye candy, the show is uber boring. 😀 Maybe its because I have a slight headache – heavy head.. whatever.

i will post SOME pictures tomorrow when I’m at home with the wire.

today, i actually received a present. a PRESENT. presents in their proper form (so to speak), what I mean is when you receive something and it is given to you ‘as a present’ – these are quite a rarity except from my mummy of course, and yiying. so I was really touched.

The next minute, I was bullied by 5 nine and ten year olds. Armed with what? WATER GUNS.

-_-

next time, when you plan camps and ask the kids to bring extra clothes, they assume that there will be water games. When you only have ONE (and they BARELY get wet), they go CRAZY. And who suffers? their leaders (actually I’m a camp buddy) suffers. ARRGH.

lol. (:

its nice when you’re with a bunch of kids when all the love you can give, all the smiles you can show are just enough for them. i like to know i can keep giving, (so i can subsequently claim credit :D)

i hate it when i see need – and i cannot.

i cannot give.

REAL ;1

I can’t stand looking at my blogskin – the damage at the side of my profile. I know enough about html to know that considering the amount of effort I’m willing to put into find out what’s wrong and actually go about correcting the coding, I won’t get anything done.

I will find one new one soon. (:

Any sweet chummies want to give me a hand? 😀

(I probably scared all the helpful people off already)

REAL; 1

I didnt bring my camera because I thought that I won’t have time to take pictures anyway. I don’t know how the children camps these days work. At JESUS IS THE ROCK’02, they actually took orders for photo printing and offered lamination at an additional price.

At YM, you have to request photos online, and at this day and age, you don’t print photos anymore. I do want my very own photo album though. I think printed photos in nice leather albums give a nice personal feel to your memories and coat it with a little more love and tenderness. Sugary sweet, no? (:

I suppose I should bring my camera tomorrow. There were many candid moments today with the kids that should have been snapped. I should have a camera man at my back and call – preferably not human so he wouldnt have to respond to the various needs of human nature: for instance boredom, irritation and delayed reaction. (:

I’m very thankful for my group. Some mature personalities which were such interesting people to talk to and observe. Then there were the really small, adorable girls who smiled at the slightest things; and the ones in between which were just as enjoyable to interact with.

I learnt alot more about how to handle kids today – I have never worked with kids this way in my life. I did the sec2 adventure camp cheers with them to build enthusiasm and it was heartening that most responded.

But it was tough to try to give everyone equal attention. I realised that there are always the ones who dominate, and those who need standing up for because they can’t be bothered to do it themselves. I hope I wasn’t too bossy when I said things like: Cavan! Let Cedric play! Or, Jireh! Give it to Audrey! 😀

Well, I liked working with the kids, my high pitched, crazy antics work well with this group of people. It seems to amuse them. Geez, finally!…

There’s another girl in my group who ahem!ahem!keeps talking about her brother(s)ahem!! Takes getting used to. Haha.

😀

I mean, it wasn’t all flowers and sunshine. I did allow myself to lose my temper. I have a sore throat now because of all the shouting.

BOYS. BOYS. AHH. -_- I can’t imagine that most of the “men” I know now were once running crazy, screaming at the top of their lungs like hyenas and trying to catch each other just to provoke the other to catch him back just so they can keep run run running. Hyper active! SIGH. Whoa. Its tiring just WATCHING them.

I just hope and pray that they understood why I said what I said during the pep talk I gave them.

At the end of the day, it is extremely rewarding. When they say things like, ‘Rachel are you going to be here tomorrow? You must sit behind us again okay?’

Or when Calida did what she did and gave me a big small hug before she left. 🙂
(I’m big, she’s small.)

These things give you a nice sweet feeling that penetrates and fills you inside for a surreal moment, and then settles at the bottom of your tummy so even when the surprised smile leaves your lips, your eyes shine from that close to magical encounter.

Til’ I get over you
Michelle Branch

everytime i feel alone
i can blame it on you
and i do
you got me like a loaded gun,
golden sun,
and skies so blue

we both know
that we want it
but we both know
you left me no choice

(chaque fois que tu t’en vas)
you just bring me down
(je pretends que tout va bien)
so I’m counting my tears
till I get over you

sometimes i watch the world go by
i wonder what it was like
to wake up every single day, smile on your face
you never try

we both know
we can’t change it
but we both know
we’ll just have to face it

(chaque fois que tu t’en vas)
you just bring me down
(je pretends que tout va bien)
so I’m counting my tears
till I get over you

if only i could give you up
would i want to let you
off of this soapbox, baby?

we both know
that we want it
but we both know
you left me no choice

(chaque fois que tu t’en vas)
you just bring me down
(je pretends que tout va bien)
so I’m counting my tears
till I get over you

chaque fois que tu t’en vas
je pretends que tout va bien

we both know
that i’m not over you

i’m not over you

I have no talent for pretending.

I could not bear to post till I changed my blogskin. I had this sudden need for change that took me firmly by the shoulders and numbed by mind and fingers.

I know that there’s something wrong with the coding, but it came like that, and I don’t know what to do about it. So.

I like the colours and the overall feel of the layout. Deep rich colours without it being too gloomy. I don’t like black layouts, maybe because its not a colour that accurately represents me.

Untainted Enrapturement. “Enraptured” is the furthest from what I’m feeling now, just so you don’t be mislead. I remember being enraptured by music. But that’s a long time past.

I noticed that I have dry skin, especially on my leg area. The negative effects of modern day lifestyle I guess. So much so that flaky bits appear occasionally and I amuse myself trying to scratch them out without hurting myself.

I’m trying to grow out of my old self. However, it seems that once I’ve fallen once, temptation lurks nearby like an invisible enemy – ready, eager to pounce and ensnare. Even when I overcome, it refuses to be sheds off, like sticky residue, like flaky dead skin.

Once you have skin like mine, horribly maintained for like 4, 5 years?, scrubbing and moisturisers do not render instant effects. Its a long long wait.

This is what happened to my senses.

I wanted to push the enemy so far back into the shadows that its no longer visible and dangerous. That its whispers are no longer within range.

No. Wait.

I want to be invisible.

Don’t mask your voice Rachel.

That’s what someone once said to me. He’s not around anymore, but without the gentle reminder, I seem to be inclined to hide more and more. I have no idea whether I’m successful, but I know that it now comes rather naturally. So much so that sometimes, my behaviour becomes increasingly inconsistent. Sometimes, I make mistakes.

I pretend, when I don’t mean to pretend.

There are things that cannot be explained.

“Surely you and I are beyond speaking when words are clearly not enough. “

Edmund Bertram to Fanny Price in Mansfield Park.

Henry Crawford: Fanny, you have created sensations which my heart has never known before.
Fanny: Please.
Henry Crawford: There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.
Fanny Price: Mr. Crawford, do not speak nonsense.
Henry Crawford: Nonsense?
Fanny Price: You are such a fine speaker that I’m afraid you may actually end in convincing yourself.
Henry Crawford: Fanny. You are killing me.
Fanny Price: No man dies of love but on the stage.

No man dies of love but on the stage.

That’s nice to know.

Making Choices

1st time. Not bad huh.

But that’s not the point.

a sh a dow

A clear glass
Reflection of peace
Sensual delight
Pure ecstasy

I have forgotten
what the shadow
of loneliness
is
till i realise
that
tis not my
heart
that
speaks
but the part of
me
that is yet
to realise
that i reside
in
the
adumbration

yea’
not the bright
not the
safe
clarity
of light
but a place where
one is but
a mere
observer
of better times

ignored
cast out
yet one’s whole
self
one’s
id entit y
is built
on the one
whom which
one
follows,
repeats
one can only
be
a reflec-
tion
a
reflec-
tion

can you look
into
a shadow?

is a
shadow
one’s own?

or does
a shadow
belong
to
it-
self?

Candy

Whoohoo! We only get to eat candy floss on holidays – my mum detests sugar. (:
My favourite part is the way its made – i didnt get a picture of that because the woman refused to do one more for me. She told me to get it off the stand – it wasnt warm. Oh well. (:

ARRRMMM!!

Up on the elephants! I have pictures from all the many times we’ve gone to Genting of us on the elephants. I practically grew up on these. We sit this (or the aeroplanes) everytime we come. Heehee.

She looks adorable doesnt she? I just look corny. Lol.

The mist was really thick – it rained afterward so the rides all shut down temporarily. So we headed back to the mall. Hahahaha. We sat that before leaving though. Woooh!

This is my favourite ride. Its THE ride to take for our family in Genting. We queued and took it 3rice. wahahaha

BOOM! We were pretending that the bus hit us. But my sister can’t act. Lol.

Cheese! We’re pretending we’re in London!! My dad was grumbling that we weren’t in London, so its an “unauthentic” picture. haha.

I was pedaller AND navigator. You pedal to move the boat and and use this steel rod to turn. I think there is a flap at the back of the boat which pushes the water to one side when the rod is turned and move the boat in the desired direction.

Okay, there’s some collaboration between Osin and Genting because they’re just everywhere. They had this huge exhibition with iGallops (we went everyday lol!), the feet thing, all the chairs (iMedic, ietc..) and the iPamper! ITs this handheld vibrating device for massage which is really good – but ticklish.

Needs getting used to. haha!

I don’t feel like talking much about this trip. (: It wasnt anything much – just quality time.

I did fall sick on the last day though. A word of caution – do not drink coffee before bed. Haha. I had Ice Blended Mocha and it gave a severe case of stomach flu. I’m pretty proud of me though – despite lack of medication, I recovered in 3-4 days. Haha.

I like this song. But it has no relevance.

Should go listen to Nick Carter’s Heart Without a Home (I’ll Be Yours) if you can find it. I can’t seem to find it on radioblogclub. The song starts out pretty unsteadily (Nick has weak vocals) but it gets better.