-Shoopah.-

it’s some swear word we invented during the 40-day fast and pray event because we made a resolution not to curse or be vulgar.

It didnt exactly work for me. God was faithful and I didnt come into many situations that could have caused me to lose it, but knowing me, when I don’t curse out loud, there’s $%@FFFDSFGDU$DF#$D45345GEE in my head.

Poison.

🙂

I’m sick. Sniff..

Its ACES day tomorrow! We’re doing a retro number and debbie is my boyfriend. (: ahahah. I make a horrible girlfriend because i can’t dance and I probably look horrible tomorrow trying to pull off the retro style. I cant twirl, i cant… yeah. i cant. BUTBUTBUTBUT i get to PUNCH HER!!!err HIM! haha!

hehehe. WATCH OUT FOR THE ELEPHANTopppsEGGPLANT RACHEL!!
bouncebouncebounceCRAAASSSHHHHHH!.

hahah.

I am known by many names. So many that i cant remember most of them sometimes. Let’s see.

Eggplant (because i love purple and i am [apparently] fat and squeeshy hahaha.. =])

Duck (because of my obsession with them and my wonderful duck song which i did in less than a min!)

Rabbit (because i look like one with my ponytail flung up) ??????! -_- i know. hahaha.

White Ghost (because i am so “amazingly fair” that I cannot be seen)

Chipmunk (because i look very cute and chipmunk like when i.. ermm.. pout. haha. Or what I just am myself. HMM..?) I invented a new name today btw- MUNKY!! MUNKYY!!! lol.. okay nvm. its the science lab that inspires me.

toot (because i am a toot head.)

Sir ROT (a knight) (because my initials are Rachel Ong Teng and they were all so amused that i became ROT. Then one fine day all of us were knighted.

Gek- Sir Sheepie
Nat- Sir FatNut
Lai- Sir Fungus
Tammie- Sir Balls =P [i know this sounds INCREDIBLY WRONG :D]
Dav- Sir Daniel Tree
Ying- Sir somethingKAKAKAKA

i honestly cant remember what else. they’re supposed to be 8.

Sniffs. Its back to ACS[b] to see lao shi again tmrw.! (:

Later.

-Do you love me?-

do you love me?

baby, you’re in for a ride.

-aHAaHAaHA!-

1. Put numbers in the boxes instead of x’s (example: 1, 2, 3, 4, …)
2. Repost as “I have lived through ___ of these 158 things.”

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[2] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[] I have been to Canada.

[] I have been to Europe.
[3] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[4] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[] I have been snowboarding/skiing.

[5] I have played ping pong.
[6] I swam in the ocean. (sentosa?? :])
[] I have been on a whale watch.
[7] I have seen fireworks.

[] I have seen a shooting star. i wish
[] I have seen a meteor shower. i wish
[] I have almost drowned.
[8] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.

[9] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[] I have had stitches.
[] I have had frostbite.
[] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[] I have stayed up ’til 2 doing homework/projects. aiyah.. i hour short.
[] I currently have a job.
[] I have been ice skating.
[10] I have been roller blading.
[11] I have fallen flat on my face.
[12] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[] I have been in a fist fight.
[13] I have played video games for more than 3 hours straight.
[14] I have watched the Power Rangers.

[15] I attend Church regularly.
[16] I have played truth or dare.
[] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[17] I’ve called someone stupid.
[18] I’ve been in a verbal argument. ahahah!
[19] I’ve cried in school.
[] I’ve played basketball on a team.
[] I’ve played baseball on a team.
[] I’ve played football on a team.
[] I’ve played soccer on a team.
[] I’ve done cheerleading on a team.
[] I’ve played softball on a team.
[] I’ve played volleyball on a team.
[] I’ve played tennis on a team.
[] I’ve been on a track or cross country team. NETBALL?!!? NETBALL?!??!?! =( make me sound so unfit.. %^$^%$^…
[20] I’ve been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[] I’ve bungee jumped.

[21] I’ve climbed a rock wall.
[] I’ve lost more than $20.
[22] I’ve called myself an idiot.
[23] I’ve called someone else an idiot.
[24] I’ve cried myself to sleep.
[] I’ve had (or have) pets. (I suppose fishes are included.) i’m deprived. then again, i might have had a chicken but i may have been too young to remember.

[] I’ve owned a Spice girls CD. (Define own =P possess or bought? xD)
[25] I’ve owned a Britney Spears CD. burned.
[] I’ve owned an N*Sync CD.
[26] I’ve owned a Backstreet Boys CD.
[?] I’ve mooned someone.

-To wander about or pass time languidly and aimlessly. [yes]
-To yearn or pine as if infatuated.[yes]
-Slang. To expose one’s buttocks in public as a prank or disrespectful gesture.[NO]
which is it??!
[27] I have sworn at someone of authority before. behind his/her back?? (:
[] I’ve been in the newspaper.
[] I’ve been on TV.
[] I’ve been to Hawaii.
[28] I’ve eaten sushi.
[] I’ve been on the other side of a waterfall.
[29] I’ve watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[] I’ve watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[] I’ve watched all of the Rocky movies.
[] I’ve watched the 3 stooges.
[] I’ve watched “Newlyweds” Nick & Jessica.
[30] I’ve watched Looney Tunes.
[] I’ve been stuffed into a locker / I have stuffed others into lockers.

[] I’ve been called a geek. nerd yes. geek definately no.
[31] I’ve studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[32] I’ve not studied at all for a test and aced it. (Hmm yes)
[33] I’ve hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs. i suppose. sheesh i cant really remember.
[] I’ve hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[34] I’ve met a celebrity/music artist.
[35] I’ve written poetry.
[] I’ve been arrested.

[36] I’ve been attracted to someone much older than me. celebrities? maybe others too. what’s much older? 😀
[] I’ve been tickled till I’ve cried.
[37] I’ve tickled someone else until they cried. i THINK i’ve done it to my sister. 😀
[38] I’ve had/have siblings.
[39] I’ve been to a rock concert. Christian rock. (:

[40] I’ve listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[] I’ve been in a play.
[] I’ve been picked last in gym class. ?
[] I’ve been picked first in gym class. ?
[] I’ve been picked in that middle-range in gym class. ? what are they talking about? picked? huh?

[41] I’ve cried in front of my friends.
[] I’ve read a book longer than 1,000 pages soon, baby, soon.
[] I’ve played Halo 2.
[42] I’ve freaked out over a sports game.
[] I’ve been to Alaska.

[] I’ve been to China.
[] I’ve been to Spain.
[] I’ve been to Japan.
[] I’ve had a fight with someone on AIM. what’s that…?
[] I’ve had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[43] I’ve had serious conversations on any IM. the few times i’ve used it? yes.

[44] I’ve forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[45] I’ve been forgiven.
[] I’ve screamed at a scary movie.
[] I’ve cried at a chick flick.
[46] I’ve watched a lot of action movies. i want to watch somemore.. but ‘alot’ is very general. 😀 and subjective.
[47] I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs.
[] I’ve been to a rap concert.

[] I’ve been to a hip hop concert.
[48] I’ve lived in more than 2 houses.
[49] I’ve driven on the highway/been on the highway. DUH.
[50] I’ve driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day. i have no idea. on the other hand, my parents have driven to KL and Malacca. Went sightseeing in Australia AND New Zealand. so i suppose so. 🙂
[51] I’ve been in a car accident.

[] I’ve done drugs.
[52] I’ve been homesick.
[53] I’ve thrown up.
[] I’ve puked on someone.
[54] I’ve been horseback riding. IN NEW ZEALAND!

[] I’ve filled out more than 10 myspace/LJ surveys.
[55] I’ve spoken my mind in public.
[56] I’ve proved someone wrong.
[57] I’ve been proven wrong by someone.
[] I’ve broken a leg.

[] I’ve broken an arm/fingers.
[58] I’ve fallen off a swing. cannot really remember.
[] I’ve swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight.
[] I’ve watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[] I’ve forgotten my backpack when I’ve gone to school. not school but tuition. is there are difference? =P

[] I’ve lost my backpack.
[] I’ve come close to dying.
[] I’ve seen someone die.
[59] I’ve known someone who has died.
[] I’ve wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.

[] I’ve done modeling.
[60] I’ve forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[61] I’ve taken something/someone for granted.
[62] I’ve realized how good my life is.
[63] I’ve counted my blessings.
[64] I’ve made fun of a classmate.
[65] I’ve been asked out by someone and I said no. ask danitza. (:

[66] I’ve slapped someone in the face. playfully, and faking it.
[] I’ve been skateboarding.
[?] I’ve been back stabbed by someone I thought was a friend. cannnoooot remember.
[67] I’ve lied to someone to their face.
[68] I’ve told a little white lie.

[] I’ve taken a day off from school just so I don’t go insane.
[] I’ve fainted. almost.
[] I’ve had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[69] I’ve pushed someone into a pool.
[70] I’ve been pushed into a pool.
[71] I’ve been/am in love.

71/ 158

i was very happy little girl yesterday.

quality time with your family does that to you. went for one of my cousin’s 21st birthday “party”. (:

i detected a common trend among my family members. They are all incedibly smart, and they are great in computers. but they’re not geeks.

[: hehehehe.

have you ever wanted to just hold someone and whisper in their ear that God loves them? Have you ever felt this desperate desire to have the assurance that you’ll be seeing this person for eternity?

sigh.

-you, blinded with conceit and self-importance-

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgement against those who do such things is based on the truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience, not realising that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?

(indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.) This will take place on the day when God will judge men’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares.

romans 2:1-4, 14-16

i am guilty too.

-the week so far-

i dont like the glow thingy around it. not really. ahah.

i’m in alot of trouble. i didnt bring my literature book home and i’m supposed to edit the work of the others. (i havent done mine..)

you notice that i am silly enough to think i will survive running 10km. well. (:

My mum insisted on going to the doctors to ask whether i can actually run (even Mrs linda expression was 0.o….). yeah. well. I’ll live.

if I don’t, there’s that will i made looong ago. heeehee.

i don’t want to blog about the solemn thoughts going through my mind now.

next time.

-Black.-

look at me, I’m losing my colour.

rachel, its all because of you.

-Because of you-

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty
Because of you
I am afraid

you fell. you broke.
now its my turn.

-Portia’s Speech-

Act Three
Scene Two, Lines 149-172

You see me, Lord Bassanio, where I stand,
Such as I am. Though for myself alone
I would not be ambitious in my wish
To wish myself much better, yet for you
I would be trebled twenty times myself,
A thousand times more fair, ten thousand times
More rich –
That only to stand high in your account,
I might in virtues, beauties, livings, friends,
Exceed account. But the full sum of me
Is sum of nothing – which, to term in gross,
Is an unlessoned girl, unschooled, unpracticed;
Happy in this, she is not yet so old
But she may learn; happier than this.
She is not bred so dull but she can learn;
Happiest of all is that her gentle spirit
Commits itself to yours to be directed
As from her lord, her governor, her king.
Myself, and what is mine, to you and yours
Is now converted. But now I was the Lord
Of this fair mansion, master of my servents
Queen o’er myself; and even now, but now,
This house, these servants, and this same myself
Are yours, my Lord’s. [so on and so forth]

I finally got around to watch the movie version which stars Al Pacino, Jeremy Irons, Joseph Fiennes and Lynn Collins. Finally got around to completing it I mean.

And that speech really touched me, and convicted me.

This is Portia giving all of herself to her husband.

I have been told many times, that before you find someone else, you must be complete in God, and not to seek another human to fill the empty void in your heart.

Perhaps we should all ask ourselves these questions, to examine how we have been playing our part in our relationship with God.

Are we trying to be better for Him? Are we trying to ‘stand high in his account‘? Are we multiplying the talents He has given us, the resources He has provided for us, and diminishing the sin in our lives?

Portia did not will herself to be better for selfish reasons ‘I would not be ambitious in my wish‘, but to be better for the one she loved. And I think we should apply this in our walk with God.

Sometimes, we take our salvation for granted. Or you may be like me, you put it aside and will yourself not to think about it. you do your things your way, silencing the Holy Spirit.

I think we need to humble ourselves. Danitza once told me that I rely too much on myself, on my own abilities instead of looking to God. Sure, I pray, I pray for divine intervention, but at the end of the day, I still believe that only my abilities will see me through. I don’t give it to God.

Not the issue, the problem, not it, in its entirety.

But I suppose we all must realise that ‘the full sum of us is sum of nothing – unlessoned, unschooled, unpracticed‘. We have to see that everything is in God’s control, and we need His help. We are incomplete and completely unable without Him.

We often forget that it is He who holds up the skies with His hand, and in His faithfulness not let it come down on us.

Are we giving all that we have to God, or are we willing ourselves to be in control of our lives? Portia acknowledged authority in Bassanio, purely out of love. We have a God who created us, who has given us everything. He deserves our obedience and allegience. But most importantly, I think God wants our love more than anything else. For us to ‘commit ourselves to Him to be directed‘, because we love Him. Because we love him.

I challenged myself to say these words, and prayed that God will be faithful in providing strength and courage to live up to it. I challenge you to say it too.

‘Myself, and what is mine, to you and yours is now converted. This (fill in the blank), these (fill in the blank), and this same myself are yours, my Lord’s.’

Work to repair your relationship with God.

God is doing His part, are you?

-I shall settle for…-

please. singapore idol is such a tragic competition, and 100000000 people blame it on everybody but themselves.

I hear people ranting in school about the ridiculous results with Jay, Rahima and Matilda out that its all because the show is #$@#%#*%@!

well. first and foremost, who are the voters? There you have the answer.

On another hand, who would charge 60 cents for one vote?! that’s just WRONG. even i wouldnt vote for jonathan because the sms would burn a hole in my non existant pocket.

(i don’t have a handphone and i don’t pay the phone bills). =)

and i thought that jonathan did horribly for the rock episode. over performing is an understatement. He was PLAIN GAY. my mum my sister and I were all cringing in front of the television screen. my mum even wanted him to do Queen. ahahah! Well he did it pretty good the last time. but the night before’s performance was a full blown DISASTER.

Oh well. So much for that huh.. Plus all that MAKE UP. the ugly eye shadow.. Omgdness..

I just think that Singapore Idol is not the show for Singapore. Last year’s was quite a disaster. Anyone see taufik and sylvester around? NO. except on that 7 11 ad, which hardly is anything.

so i shall settle for REAL music. Although teddy geiger exactly what you would call good looking, i like his voice. I love this music video. (:

-an irony-

i like dance, but i cant dance. the irony.

i like my new skin and i’m really proud that i edited it to suit my taste. the picture was previously too huge, and the posting thingy too narrow. oh well.

i like white. i need simplicity now. so i can breathe.

a good thing that really blessed be today. Debbie, Jovel and I were heading to the Newton MRT and suddenly a man gave us a little booklet. a tract (is that how you spell it?). I was worried at first because i am aware that christians arent the only ones walking about doing evangelism. but it was christian.

The guy was from Nepal and he’s studying in one of the colleges here. There’s a rally coming up apparently, and people from over 80 nations are here. Missionaries i think. Wonderful isnt it? He looked alot like the man from Nepal i met at the Journey.

I like knowing that i can be comfortable speaking to people i don’t know.

The irony is that i cant seem to talk to the ones i DO know.

Oh well.