anime and story books are going to cause me an F in my review week.

deaddead i am so dead.

of religion?

I wanted to post about If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda, but i found this, and realised that I it poem agrees with me more.

of religion? of love.

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
Pablo Neruda

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it’s you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

January Light may signify enlightenment and the awakening of the soul to a new beginning (January), engulfing the persona with the cruel truth, stealing the “key” to true calm, (here, meaning the hope in Love), by exposing him to the fact that Love is not what he always believed it to be.

Its an irony isn’t it? The awakening and enlightenment that comes with the January Light that seems to emanate brightness, warmth and delight in the truth, mean harsh cruelty and stealth to the persona.

I perceive it to be a social commentary. In a world where pragmatism and skepticism are rampant, there is the inherent belief of rejecting the faith in human nature and a god because in the social unrest and poverty in many parts of the world developed and undeveloped alike, human nature has failed them and people live in the derision of disappointed hopes. (yet again i quote pride and prejudice)

world peace and universal love are now mere echoes and exist as abandoned far-fetched ideologies categorized under “impossible”.

Such is the world I see the persona living in, and yet,

The poet plays on the notion of blind love, that we are all fools in love, and here the persona has not seen Love, yet loves it dearly. The persona, having never tasted the sweet fruit of affection, still has a steadfast hold onto the hope of its existence.

So maybe I am foolish.

But foolishness reap delicious rewards.

how can you be so sure?

Its like the wind, I don’t see it but i feel it.
-a walk to remember.

Its cold

its so cold

like fear and confusion infiltrating every dark corner of your

mind

jagged edges

stab

six swipes

blood

dripping off snowflakes

poison

pernicious

pollution

retaliation?

no.

i always liked to sleep in the cold.

Indieventure?

Courtesy of Kiron we took car to Parkway =)

Our gross concoction. Left over creamy chicken sauce a la Sheila, plus salt and pepper a la rachel, tobasco sauce a la leslie etc.

Force feeding the big baby.

*gags*

Pasta Mania.

Soundtrack of my summer

Thunder
Boys like Girls

Today is a winding road that’s taking me to places that I didn’t want to go
Whoa
Today in the blink of an eye I’m holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried

I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I’m feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there’s a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you’re unlike any other?
You’ll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don’t wanna ever love another
You’ll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don’t know
Whoa
Today I’m on my own
I can’t move a muscle and I can’t pick up the phone
I don’t know

And now I’m itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you’re unlike any other?
You’ll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don’t wanna ever love another
You’ll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

Yeah I’m walking on a tightrope
I’m wrapped up in vines
I think we’ll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today is a winding road that’s taking me to places that I didn’t want to go
Whoa

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you’re unlike any other?
You’ll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don’t wanna ever love another
You’ll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder, and I said
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you’re unlike any other?
You’ll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

marketing a product for the postmodern male

man i might go into advertising. playing on the nature of the masses, simplifying the nature of men so you can group together common characteristics, sinful playful manipulation that makes me feel empowered and high above the masses.

They’re responding to my bait.

very much like animals really, which is really disturbing.

Ah well. Sleep.

i love you.

I LOVE YOU, YOU HEAR?

baby please don’t do this to me

i am here.

LOOK AT ME.

please..

“so you say”

As the trees of the field
sway and sing their song
As the rocks cry out
Holy Is The Lord
As the eagle rides the wind
and the sparrow soars
Father issue me Your call

“I will answer them before they even call Me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers.”

Isaiah 65:24

Then you will heal her in Your time.

us

I’m praying for interaction

courage

understandingunderstanding do you understand?

direction

from you.

change.

from you and yet

yet, i should love you as you are

but i don’t.

not yet.

and my mind swirls as it struggles to define what love can possibly take root

what love more than the love

…than the love

i suppose we have now

consider friendship whichever way you want

no,

no no

nothing just for the experience

i’ve had enough of those

and the word fling doesn’t do you justice although i am really tempted to play with the idea

just to see where it goes

but no,

you don’t know how to be there for me yet

you are a man

boy

man

boy man

of a million words unspoken

it takes my breath away when i see them in your eyes

but i thank God

i am a few months too late

light up the sky – Yellowcard