hide and seek

where are we?

what the hell is

going on

the dust has only just

began

to

fall

i slept on the bus, listening to Switchfoot’s Learning to Breathe
got off the bus, listening to Muse’s Unintended and thinking about

how i might’ve found my Unintended

and about the broken pieces of the life I had before

the life I had before

I was concentrating on the cracks on the concrete floor, the way the water flowed to the breeze,

the music was so loud i scarcely heard

then I looked up

and i saw you.

and I imagined I have thought I have pondered
would we stop dead in our tracks?

who would smile first? would you be able to look me in the eyes

like i used to like to swim in yours

would you have a girl, and i a boy?

what would we say?

but today, you did not even see me

navybluedryfitwhitethreequarterswithasportsshoulderbag

i studied myself in the mrt windowswasisounrecognisable?soinvisible?

did i blendintothebackground?

greyshoesbecky’sbagdishevelledhairpimpleonthechinglassesshorthairtiredeyesskirtalittletoolongvjuniform

then i thought about all the girls i laughed at who looked at themselves in the mirro and meticulously arranged their hair, neatened their blouses, checked their teeth

did they just meet their boy

a lost love they have been waiting to see for four years?

for everything we’ve been through i thought we really would have met

you with your baby

and i with mine

but when i saw you it was strangely like how we were when we were

alone

i in my life and you in yours

and we just happened to cross

that one day

just like today.

i paused and stared ifeltmyheartjumpintomythroat

i turned and walked on

on

on

moverachelwalkon

at the escalator i turned back to clutch my racing heart and see you walk further and further and further away from me

and it was always me, who watched you walk away

yiying: did you say hi?
rachel: no..
yiying: why?
rachel: He didn’t see me. I just stared. It was beyond me. Honestly. I still can’t believe it.

I’ll be there as soon as i can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
Before you